So this year I was reluctantly drafted into the leadership juggernaut of the Mt. Tabor Community Garden power structure. I use the word reluctantly because i am more of a "doer" than a "planner" and the idea of being sucked into meetings where people like to talk a lot is not particularly my happy place. In truth I believe I am still stinging from a decade ago when I was the Strata Council President of a condo building in Vancouver B.C. Canada that had some problems but we couldn't fix them because people are retarded, self interested and fools with respect to being penny wise and pound foolish. But this is just a garden... we are all happy people here, growing our food, living in harmony... yes let's go with that.
So I'm kind of the Manager that is in the Garden a lot, keeping an eye on things, doing various things to help out as I see opportunity arise... I am linked to higher up people and am authorized to spring into action. I am happy to be that person for the garden... and let me be clear there are others that help out a lot too, but for some reason I have a title now. I'm not the Mark that sends out the email's, I'm the Mark that tries not to read them. Speaking of that, I got a bunch of emails last week about leading a work party last weekend... I was sick with the flu and reports were that it was going to be 100 degrees (which it was), so i deflected and said i could do one next week in the evening and I randomly picked Wednesday from 7-9pm... seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have you ever read the Book "Barney's Version" by Mordecai Richler? A most excellent book I would highly recommend, that has a great part in it that is very similar to my randomly picking Wednesday night. You see in the book, the lead character Barney agrees to a date for his wedding night (to his 2nd wife) without really thinking... somewhat indifferent about the whole thing, and of course it turns out that that is the night that his beloved Montreal Canadians will play for the Stanley Cup in the Forum... a game for which he has tickets to.
Indeed... it is possible that the Stanley Cup might be awarded in the middle of our work party that I shall be leading. Luckily i have authorized my good friend "Randy the scarecrow" to hold some sticky notes with ideas on things to do for this work party... in the sky there will be a team of drones monitoring the general work ethic of this "party". I have also attached a thousand dollar bill to the roots of one weed that lies in the pathways between the individual gardens. Trust me, you will want to loosen the soil around the weed with a trowel and then gently get the weed and all of the root out to make sure you have a chance at your free thousand dollars.
Does any gardener in Portland even know that the Stanley Cup is? Half the bartenders in this town with their ham fists on the remote don't even know what it is. It's a hockey thing people...
I'll be at the work party, don't worry, I'm just having fun here. I glossed over the email and it said if you bring some food to the work party that can count towards volunteer hours... let me add, now that I have the authority... bring a generator, a TV and the ability to watch the game and I have your volunteer hours covered... add a keg of beer and you are good for the year.
If you are a member of the Mt Tabor Community Garden, and you are reading this and you are confused... please don't be we are just having fun here... you see I'm from Canada... my religion is hockey, and I'm thinking San Jose will take it to game 6 anyways. It's also 2016 and a person, if they want, can re-watch games 24 hours after the fact and you get a better feed than on some illegal stream.
What does hockey have to do with garden work parties? That's where the old sports analogies come in my friends... we are going to fore check those weeds into oblivion... with teamwork we will control all 3 zones of this game. We are going to work with our teammates to make the impossible seem routine. Obviously we will need a penalty box for those slacking on effort... luckily i have a large deep freezer box that i have expertly lined with stinging nettle... anybody whistled for an infraction will spend 2 or more minutes in the sin bin.
I was thinking that sometimes at these work parties some people think they need to aggressively cut back some of the fine greenery we have surrounding the garden. Last year in fact, some lunatics hacked some fine bushes down to stumps... this year that will be 2 minutes for slashing.. into the nettle box you go! Talking when you should be working? 2 minutes for unsportsmanlike conduct!
OK there probably won't be a penalty box, and nobody will be whistled for infractions... but you have to admit the idea is excellent. To me comedy is like a freshly grown organic vegetable... something to be enjoyed and savored... it's the key to life.
Obviously I am different, I have my ways and others have theirs... we have work parties to help give people the opportunity to obtain the required volunteer hours needed to remain part of the community garden. So come on down and dig in, meet the people and be part of the community... it's not a burden, it's an opportunity. If you can't make it it's not a big deal, there is lot's of opportunity to make our community a better place. Try and think of it in those terms... how can you help the community that you are part of be better? This is better than worrying about having to do volunteer hours or losing your spot. It's a real key to life thing... why be part of something that is a burden to you? Is the stress of that really worth it?
I'll leave you with a story... I had a friend who once allowed a community garden program to garden his yard. The idea was you donated your land and people grew food on it... sounds all good right? Now his wasn't going all that well in terms of food production, for reasons I won't go into at this time, but the people running the program figured that his plants were lonely and needed company, and asked if it would be OK if somebody came and sat in the garden to talk to the plants... I kid you not this happened! Around this time my friend was losing confidence in the program but was OK with letting them do what they wanted to to. So apparently some volunteer came and sat with the plants to try and give them company a few hours a week... never did the volunteer weed or water the garden, because they were focused for some reason on the idea that plants needed human company. The experiment failed for some reason... and I think I know what it was. Plants need soil, nutrients, water, light and space... given that they can take care of the rest. The right plant, in the right spot, given what it needs, will do what it's genetics are programmed to do. There is no mystery to growing food... food want's to grow, just give it the opportunity to do so.
So I'm kind of the Manager that is in the Garden a lot, keeping an eye on things, doing various things to help out as I see opportunity arise... I am linked to higher up people and am authorized to spring into action. I am happy to be that person for the garden... and let me be clear there are others that help out a lot too, but for some reason I have a title now. I'm not the Mark that sends out the email's, I'm the Mark that tries not to read them. Speaking of that, I got a bunch of emails last week about leading a work party last weekend... I was sick with the flu and reports were that it was going to be 100 degrees (which it was), so i deflected and said i could do one next week in the evening and I randomly picked Wednesday from 7-9pm... seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have you ever read the Book "Barney's Version" by Mordecai Richler? A most excellent book I would highly recommend, that has a great part in it that is very similar to my randomly picking Wednesday night. You see in the book, the lead character Barney agrees to a date for his wedding night (to his 2nd wife) without really thinking... somewhat indifferent about the whole thing, and of course it turns out that that is the night that his beloved Montreal Canadians will play for the Stanley Cup in the Forum... a game for which he has tickets to.
Indeed... it is possible that the Stanley Cup might be awarded in the middle of our work party that I shall be leading. Luckily i have authorized my good friend "Randy the scarecrow" to hold some sticky notes with ideas on things to do for this work party... in the sky there will be a team of drones monitoring the general work ethic of this "party". I have also attached a thousand dollar bill to the roots of one weed that lies in the pathways between the individual gardens. Trust me, you will want to loosen the soil around the weed with a trowel and then gently get the weed and all of the root out to make sure you have a chance at your free thousand dollars.
Does any gardener in Portland even know that the Stanley Cup is? Half the bartenders in this town with their ham fists on the remote don't even know what it is. It's a hockey thing people...
I'll be at the work party, don't worry, I'm just having fun here. I glossed over the email and it said if you bring some food to the work party that can count towards volunteer hours... let me add, now that I have the authority... bring a generator, a TV and the ability to watch the game and I have your volunteer hours covered... add a keg of beer and you are good for the year.
If you are a member of the Mt Tabor Community Garden, and you are reading this and you are confused... please don't be we are just having fun here... you see I'm from Canada... my religion is hockey, and I'm thinking San Jose will take it to game 6 anyways. It's also 2016 and a person, if they want, can re-watch games 24 hours after the fact and you get a better feed than on some illegal stream.
What does hockey have to do with garden work parties? That's where the old sports analogies come in my friends... we are going to fore check those weeds into oblivion... with teamwork we will control all 3 zones of this game. We are going to work with our teammates to make the impossible seem routine. Obviously we will need a penalty box for those slacking on effort... luckily i have a large deep freezer box that i have expertly lined with stinging nettle... anybody whistled for an infraction will spend 2 or more minutes in the sin bin.
I was thinking that sometimes at these work parties some people think they need to aggressively cut back some of the fine greenery we have surrounding the garden. Last year in fact, some lunatics hacked some fine bushes down to stumps... this year that will be 2 minutes for slashing.. into the nettle box you go! Talking when you should be working? 2 minutes for unsportsmanlike conduct!
OK there probably won't be a penalty box, and nobody will be whistled for infractions... but you have to admit the idea is excellent. To me comedy is like a freshly grown organic vegetable... something to be enjoyed and savored... it's the key to life.
Obviously I am different, I have my ways and others have theirs... we have work parties to help give people the opportunity to obtain the required volunteer hours needed to remain part of the community garden. So come on down and dig in, meet the people and be part of the community... it's not a burden, it's an opportunity. If you can't make it it's not a big deal, there is lot's of opportunity to make our community a better place. Try and think of it in those terms... how can you help the community that you are part of be better? This is better than worrying about having to do volunteer hours or losing your spot. It's a real key to life thing... why be part of something that is a burden to you? Is the stress of that really worth it?
I'll leave you with a story... I had a friend who once allowed a community garden program to garden his yard. The idea was you donated your land and people grew food on it... sounds all good right? Now his wasn't going all that well in terms of food production, for reasons I won't go into at this time, but the people running the program figured that his plants were lonely and needed company, and asked if it would be OK if somebody came and sat in the garden to talk to the plants... I kid you not this happened! Around this time my friend was losing confidence in the program but was OK with letting them do what they wanted to to. So apparently some volunteer came and sat with the plants to try and give them company a few hours a week... never did the volunteer weed or water the garden, because they were focused for some reason on the idea that plants needed human company. The experiment failed for some reason... and I think I know what it was. Plants need soil, nutrients, water, light and space... given that they can take care of the rest. The right plant, in the right spot, given what it needs, will do what it's genetics are programmed to do. There is no mystery to growing food... food want's to grow, just give it the opportunity to do so.
